It's over...

The pilot and I broke up. He is dating someone new. We broke up 2 days before Christmas. I didn't tell anyone until after Christmas. I smiled, put on a good face, told everyone a lie and then waited until after Christmas to tell everyone. I feel so lost. I had a plan. I was going to move to DC, I was going to work at Banfield, I was going to live with him, I was going to be happy. At this point in my life he is the only person who actually thought I'd be a vet. I don't want to give up but I don't know how much more I have to give. I am now facing a life of uncertainty. I have to find a place to live and a job. I don't like being so alone or having to rework my whole life. I feel like in a matter of days my entire life was taken away from me. I hate the position I'm in. I feel pathetic and numb. Why am I never good enough? Why do I always fall short of my dreams? Why do I always have to work so hard for what I want?