Can we fast forward about 6 months? or maybe a couple years?

I'm not sure if it's the fact that finals are quickly approaching or the holidays or what it is but I have the worst case of senioritis ever! I'm so anxious to graduate and move to Virginia and finally live with Erik again. Prior to today I was anxious to get a job and make up the classes needed before I can apply to vet school.  As I sit in class already feeling defeated having dropped the pre-vet classification on my degree, learning about cows, pigs and sheep I hear about all my classmates, many of them a year behind me applying to vet school. I heard all about their application processes and sleepless nights getting them completed. I heard how relieved they felt knowing they were completed. Now vet schools all across the country have began to sent out interview requests. I have no doubt I'll start next semester learning who got in and who got wait listed. No one of course will admit they didn't get in., that would be too embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as not even applying.

I feel stupid even getting choked up. I now feel anxiety about graduating. It feels like no matter how hard I try it will never happen. I can't wait to get away from school. I want to start my own journey and figure things out my own way. Being here only makes me feel inadequate and defeated. I just hope one day I can feel better about things. I can't help but feel like my career will never live up to what I hope it will.