Monday, March 29, 2010

Subconscious Stress, How I hate you!

Ok, I am willing to admit I do not handle stress well. It all started when I was little and would literally break down like the end of the world was near when I would get hungry. I mean it was bad! I would love to say I have gotten over it but let's face it I still get cranky when I get hungry. When I was 3 and before high school my hair started falling out for no other reason the doctors could think of but stress. Then I went to 8th grade and had the first teacher who made me lay awake a night with stomach pains and crazy nerves, worried that I had forgotten something or would be embarrassed if I didn't know an answer. High school wasn't bad but the nerves continued...then I went to college. Every year I've been in college it has gotten progressively worse. Now it is considered "normal" when finals approach for me to have virtually no appetite, get nauseous all the time, knots in every muscle in my body and I just get generally very worried and grouchy,  and would frankly prefer to sleep all day and avoid everything else. This has all been manageable, I mean it sucks but I have come to understand it. Now I have one new little annoyance that I just don't understand. February 15th Erik went to training as I have said many times. He left, I missed him but we both agreed it was easier than we thought it would be. Then I got itchy. I itched to the point where my skin was getting raw...gross right? So over spring break I went to the doctors and he prescribed an ointment and it cleared up like that right as Erik came back! Perfect timing right? Well, he left Saturday for his second part of training. I drove up to my parents house and by Saturday night I couldn't help but notice that I was itchy again. Now I'm back on the medication because my body is freaking out! WTF!!!! I'm so annoyed with EVERYTHING right now! I mean what the hell is wrong with me!?

No comments:

Post a Comment