I already don't want to let go.

"A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?" -Marley and Me

You never really appreciate something until it's gone. I've learned that most recently when Erik left for job training. I've spent many nights feeling alone and overwhelmed with all the changes but it wasn't until today when I came home  and watched the end of Marley and Me with Cali by my side that I took time to realize and appreciate how not alone I am. Sure the cats have become cuddly and shown me their affection but they don't compare to Cali, my 6 lb. Chihuahua pug mix who has more personality than any dog I've known. 


She sat beside me and as I started crying as I usually do when they put Marley down Cali gazed up at me then when the sniffles turned to tears she pushed her way onto my lap staying ever strong to show her support. She is only 3 but has already been with me through some of the more difficult times of my life. She was there when I moved into my first apartment. Watched me pine/stalk Erik, always dancing with excitement when I was excited and showing quiet concern when I was sad. She ran around and danced with me when I sent Erik the inevitable text and she showed her hesitation to accept him and extreme jealousy when I didn't hesitate. She has been there through the exams and all the stressful night. And I can't help but think that she will hopefully be around to meet my first child...in many many years. 


It wasn't until Erik left however, that Cali came to be the best dog on Earth. Instead of running to find a hiding place when I'd cry scared that she was doing something wrong she now stays glued to my side watching me knowing that her company means the world to me. Even Erik the man who loves German Shepherds and only a big dog kind of person has come to appreciate how great Cali is. I only pray to God that we still have many years together. She''s been with me in such a pivotal part of my life I can't imagine what it will be like when we have to say good-bye. I love my puppy!